The Moment of Arrival

Everyone who has fantasized about being a writer imagines that moment when the postman delivers the boxes of the books for the first time. It's in the movies, after all, as that great moment of self congratulation. Well, the reality is always a bit different.

First of all, the UPS guy had trouble finding our address because we live on a private drive with a grandfathered-in street at some freakin' 25% incline. He could barely get his big brown truck up and down it, despite gunning the engine for all it was worth. When the noise pulled us from the house he marched up to us, unceremoniously dropped two heavy boxes at my feet, and stormed off. I opened the battered boxes and, lo and behold, Cruise Confidential!

Of course, since I designed the cover my initial reaction was not one of wonder, pride, joy, or any of that crap. I wanted to make sure they didn't screw it up! But it looked great and I paused a moment to reflect, as I had seen in the movies. I wanted it to be this great moment, but it just wasn't. That didn't happen until I sat on my porch with a drink and began to read. The words came alive in a way they never could on my computer screen. They leaped off the page and danced in the air in front of me, recreating the world of ships I had so long ago departed. I spent probably an hour skimming my own words, reading them as if someone else had written them. I discovered that I was actually funnier than I thought, and even more of a romantic. Who'da thunk it? More poor, poor wife. They'll be no living with me now!

Part Love Boat, part Mutiny on the Bounty

So, it is done! Cruise Confidential is completely ready for the printers, both interior and cover. Travelers' Tales was generous in accepting my bid for designing the cover, and I am happy that ordeal is over. As happens so frequently, the original idea was proposed, changed, changed again, altered yet again, completely rehashed, and at the last minute returned to almost exactly what was originally proposed. The process is necessary, if frustrating, to make sure you capture it all.

The greatest surprise, however, are the overwhelming peer reviews and blurbs for Cruise. My publishers have done their best to grab leading names in the industry, and have they ever succeeded! Check these blurbs out:

"Part Love Boat, part Mutiny on the Bounty, Cruise Confidential does for cruising what Animal House did for higher education." J. Maarten Troost, author The Sex Lives of Cannibals

“Cruise Confidential is a deliciously addictive read, much like The Nanny Diaries or The Devil Wears Prada…a blistering kiss-and-tell about the dysfunctional life working on cruise ships. The reality is worse than you imagined…we get a good look at the orgy-like crew parties, a frightening management style that's a mix of Old Testament and Mafia, and a unique view of how cruising Americans are viewed by the patient foreigners who have to pamper them day and night.” Doug Lansky, author The Last Trout in Venice, host for shows on Travel Channel

“Spray crashing, thunder blasting, bodies rolling around a heaving floor. Ship on the rocks? Nope, just a typical midnight party in the ‘under-the-waterline’ world of the workers who make big cruise ships hum. The funniest travel book I’ve read in years, Cruise Confidential breaks down the water-tight doors that keep passengers away from the really wild times at sea.”
Peter Mandel, author Boats on the River, and My Ocean Liner

“These hilarious misadventures at sea will shock and delight any buffet-ready cruise traveler.”
Jennifer Leo, editor of Sand in My Bra, and The Thong Also Rises

Second week in September should be a good one! That's when it gets published... I can't wait!